Aging and being alone

 Not so long ago, I was asked by my priest to help a fellow member that was on up there in age and had just gotten home from the hospital and needed some help with her medicine. Several of us from church were being asked to do this along with taking her meals and anything else she might need.  She lives out in the country like me and in the same county, but not as close as people from town seemed to think we were. In fact, some of the folks from town had a shorter drive than I did. However, it wasn't long before they bailed out and I was left carrying the burden of going to see her, take her meals, help with her medicine, clean her kitchen and help with her animals. This was 3 days a week for 12 weeks. She had 2 neighbors that also helped, so in all there were 3 of us sharing this duty. The sad thing is that she is 86, has many health problems and shouldn't be living way out in the country by herself. She certainly shouldn't be trying to care for livestock. However, these very things are what keep her going. She would be miserable in town. The even sadder thing is that she had 2 children in town that have nothing to do with her. She essentially is all alone, but for a couple of neighbors and the church. So, because of that I kept going to see her, check on her, help her long past the time that she truly needed me to. I helped find someone to cut her yard and do odd jobs to keep her place looking lived in.  She fell once during this time one night. She was out in the pasture at 2:00 in the morning checking on her goats. She laid there until the neighbor came to check on her in the morning. She was not very good about keeping her cell phone on her, if she even kept it charged. Then a few month later, I was supposed to come on a Tuesday but I was coming down with a cold. I tried to call but got no answer. By the time I got well and could go back over there I found out she had fallen and laid in her bathroom for 3 days. She did not have her phone with her and it was not charged. One of the neighbors found her.  A week later she fell again. She was able to get one of the neighbors to come over, but he was unable to get her off the floor. So they had to call the paramedics. This led to her finding out that they could have her removed from her home if they felt she was unsafe. She was unsafe. None of us had a regular schedule. We just went by when we could. All of us had talked to her about her situation. Then one of the neighbors sent a couple to work for her, to be her caregivers. They moved right in her house, essentially they have taken over her place. They even fired the yardman and moved their children and children's "friends" into the house and ton he property. At first, I was very suspicious. Still am a little bit.  A woman did the same thing to my grandparents and she was definitely taking advantage of them. I saw the same situation happening here. Her children were made aware, but still they don't take care of her. By this time close to a year had gone by, she had been to the hospital, almost lost her foot to diabetes, and fallen numerous times. Three people were running themselves ragged to see about her as best we could and still they didn't come. So, I started to wonder if it really is so bad that these people have moved themselves and their kin into her home and her life. She is no longer alone by herself in the middle of nowhere. There are people to care for her place and it looks lived in. She has 10 people now that eat dinner with her every night. She has the family that her children won't give her. She looks good. She looks happy. So she is getting as much as she is giving and as long as they don't abscond with all of her belongings and money leaving her high and dry, I am beginning to think she is in a better place than she has been for a long time. If she changed her will and left everything to these people that is her right to do so and I would almost say they deserve it more than the children do. They are the ones there...doing the hard work. It's hard aging and being alone. Maybe God sends us a family to fill the empty spot where there should be one. The idea of being all alone way out in the country with no one, but a couple of neighbors and a church member is not my idea of a good life. Don't get me wrong I love my animals, but they can't help me off the floor if I have fallen in the bathroom. I also don't want them to become such a burden that I don't enjoy them anymore because I can't properly care for them. If no one wants to be a part of my life then they certainly don't deserve to profit from my death. I really am beginning to see this as a God thing. After seeing her and seeing how alive she is.....I am happy for her. This "family" has definitely been a blessing for her. I still have a little bit of suspicion. I guess my skeptical side is worried about what will happen to her if they up and leave. She will be devastated. I will just have to pray that does not happen. I pray that they stick around and give Mary the family that she so desperately craves and certainly deserves.  Many blessings, Kat