Aging and being alone

 Not so long ago, I was asked by my priest to help a fellow member that was on up there in age and had just gotten home from the hospital and needed some help with her medicine. Several of us from church were being asked to do this along with taking her meals and anything else she might need.  She lives out in the country like me and in the same county, but not as close as people from town seemed to think we were. In fact, some of the folks from town had a shorter drive than I did. However, it wasn't long before they bailed out and I was left carrying the burden of going to see her, take her meals, help with her medicine, clean her kitchen and help with her animals. This was 3 days a week for 12 weeks. She had 2 neighbors that also helped, so in all there were 3 of us sharing this duty. The sad thing is that she is 86, has many health problems and shouldn't be living way out in the country by herself. She certainly shouldn't be trying to care for livestock. However, these very things are what keep her going. She would be miserable in town. The even sadder thing is that she had 2 children in town that have nothing to do with her. She essentially is all alone, but for a couple of neighbors and the church. So, because of that I kept going to see her, check on her, help her long past the time that she truly needed me to. I helped find someone to cut her yard and do odd jobs to keep her place looking lived in.  She fell once during this time one night. She was out in the pasture at 2:00 in the morning checking on her goats. She laid there until the neighbor came to check on her in the morning. She was not very good about keeping her cell phone on her, if she even kept it charged. Then a few month later, I was supposed to come on a Tuesday but I was coming down with a cold. I tried to call but got no answer. By the time I got well and could go back over there I found out she had fallen and laid in her bathroom for 3 days. She did not have her phone with her and it was not charged. One of the neighbors found her.  A week later she fell again. She was able to get one of the neighbors to come over, but he was unable to get her off the floor. So they had to call the paramedics. This led to her finding out that they could have her removed from her home if they felt she was unsafe. She was unsafe. None of us had a regular schedule. We just went by when we could. All of us had talked to her about her situation. Then one of the neighbors sent a couple to work for her, to be her caregivers. They moved right in her house, essentially they have taken over her place. They even fired the yardman and moved their children and children's "friends" into the house and ton he property. At first, I was very suspicious. Still am a little bit.  A woman did the same thing to my grandparents and she was definitely taking advantage of them. I saw the same situation happening here. Her children were made aware, but still they don't take care of her. By this time close to a year had gone by, she had been to the hospital, almost lost her foot to diabetes, and fallen numerous times. Three people were running themselves ragged to see about her as best we could and still they didn't come. So, I started to wonder if it really is so bad that these people have moved themselves and their kin into her home and her life. She is no longer alone by herself in the middle of nowhere. There are people to care for her place and it looks lived in. She has 10 people now that eat dinner with her every night. She has the family that her children won't give her. She looks good. She looks happy. So she is getting as much as she is giving and as long as they don't abscond with all of her belongings and money leaving her high and dry, I am beginning to think she is in a better place than she has been for a long time. If she changed her will and left everything to these people that is her right to do so and I would almost say they deserve it more than the children do. They are the ones there...doing the hard work. It's hard aging and being alone. Maybe God sends us a family to fill the empty spot where there should be one. The idea of being all alone way out in the country with no one, but a couple of neighbors and a church member is not my idea of a good life. Don't get me wrong I love my animals, but they can't help me off the floor if I have fallen in the bathroom. I also don't want them to become such a burden that I don't enjoy them anymore because I can't properly care for them. If no one wants to be a part of my life then they certainly don't deserve to profit from my death. I really am beginning to see this as a God thing. After seeing her and seeing how alive she is.....I am happy for her. This "family" has definitely been a blessing for her. I still have a little bit of suspicion. I guess my skeptical side is worried about what will happen to her if they up and leave. She will be devastated. I will just have to pray that does not happen. I pray that they stick around and give Mary the family that she so desperately craves and certainly deserves.  Many blessings, Kat

The kind of "prepping" we don't like to think about

 We have always been "preppers" of one sort or another. When we were younger and broke we "prepped" by saving what we could and learning to do with as little as we could. This was the time that I learned to cook cheap meals, like baked potato and salad night,  that would stretch our budget. When we were a little less broke these were the times that we bought a few extra cans of tuna fish and candles for when the lights went out. As our budget expanded so did our "prepping" pantry along with our skill set. We learned to garden, preserve our food, raise livestock, make do with very little and save money even when there didn't seem to be any to save. However, there is one thing we really didn't think to prep for very much when we were very young....getting older. We did start saving for retirement at a decent age, so financially we were smarter than some but not as smart as others. We are playing a bit of catch up there, but the fact that we have almost no debt and will be completely debt free long before we retire will go a long way toward financial freedom. However, we did not realize how hard things would get physically. Homesteading is a very physical lifestyle. Had we realized how our older bodies would get slower and weaker, we would have prepped our homestead a little better. Let me explain a little bit. When we bought this little farm there were quite a number of repairs that needed to be done. The front steps on the house needed to be rebuilt for instance. Living in the south we know that wood touching the ground is never the best idea because of termites and rot. However, not thinking into the future enough we used wood to rebuild the steps on the front of the house and the barn. Now, 6 years later we have had to replace those steps. The work has been harder and it has taken us longer to complete. We have been smarter this time around. The steps to the barn are sold concrete block, no rot or bugs to worry about. We have  some painting to do to seal them against the weather, but then those block steps and flower beds will be there long after we are gone from this earth. No more redo. The steps for the front porch have concrete block pillars, but a wooden plank tread so that they match the front porch of the house. This is our trend now. Building things so that we won't have to repeat repairs. Our bodies are getting slower and weaker. Things like this are harder and take up more time. So this time we are working smarter in the hopes that by saving ourselves from having to repeat repairs we will be able to enjoy our little homestead longer. I hear of friends who are giving up their beloved life in the country to move to town because they can't keep up with the chores. It simply becomes a life of constant work instead of something that can be enjoyed from time to time. We don't want that. We want to stay in the country. We want to enjoy the life and the land that we have worked so hard to get it just the way we want it. What a shame it would be to have to give it up.  As homesteaders, this is important prepping. We need to start early financially preparing for our golden years. We also need to start early from the start preparing ourselves and our homestead physically for our golden years. Many blessings, friends!

Mom's Cats Become Barn Cats

 

So, we have more critters than just the goats and the rabbits.  When my mother passed away there was a dilemma of what to do with her cats. She had 6, 4 of which were feral even though they would come up to her. We had trapped them at one time to have them fixed and vaccinated. Mom was the resident cat lady of her little town. She didn't actively seek them out...they sought her out. Make no mistake about it, Mom loved her cats and she loved that they would seek her out. Fortunately, the numbers really never got out of control as most of them were outside cats and they just don't have long life spans. Well, we hated to leave mom's cats to the new residents of her house. They had already made it very clear that the cats were not going to be welcome. So, the 2 that were domesticated love bugs were easy to move. Then we once again set about trapping the others. We managed to get 2 more before it was very clear that the new owners of the house didn't appreciate us returning daily to check the traps. We wished the cats the best and made our way home one last time. Moving cats is no easy thing. When you get them to their new place you have to confine them for a good bit until they are absolutely sure that the new place is their source of dinner. None of these cats had ever been confined and only one had been a partial housecat. The old cat, Buttons, would come in the house to eat and then whine to go back out. We tried to confine them in the barn, which was not designed to confine cats, especially determined feral cats. We also, were trying to decide how best to introduce them to the dogs in such a way that they dogs understood that they belonged here now. The 2 feral cats were the first to escape their confinement and were chased into the woods by the dogs. Then poor old Buttons, escaped before we could thoroughly train the dogs. Pumpkin the terrier got to her first and Titan was next. My husband saw it happen but could not get to her fast enough. Buttons death broke my heart. Mom had her for quite a number of years and she had been a fixture at mom's house for a long time. It was like losing my Mom all over again I guess because she loved Buttons so much. And then there is Mr. Gray. The dogs learned that the cats were off limits...they were mine. But by now our track record was not so great. We made sure that they dogs understood that Mr. Gray was to be left alone. That darn little terrier, Pumpkin, though is pretty stubborn and has to constantly be watched. For weeks after Buttons' death Mr. Gray lived in the loft of the barn only coming down at night. We fed him up there since it was where he felt safe. During the day he would lie on the roof of the walkway like a lion overseeing his territory. Now, he eats in the feed room and spends time with us in the yard. He truly only feels safe if I am outside or the dogs are inside. I thought he was all that we had left of our attempt to save Mom's cats, but just last week I had a surprise. Mr Gray brought a friend to dinner, Ace. Ace was Mom's black cat and he had been one of the two that took off into the woods. Ace had been a housepet that truly did not want to be a housepet. He was not quite as feral as the other cats, but he was only a pet on his terms....not yours. So now we have 2 cats, Ace and Mr. Gray. Ace we never see except at feeding time. I know when he is in the woods close by though because that little terrier starts running up and down the fence. Mr. Gray will hear us in the yard or the barn yard and come down to follow us around and receive a few extra scratches. For someone who really doesn't like cats very much, I must say I am happy to have these two cats around.